I attended my first retreat this month. It was Angelo’s multimodality retreat at the Art of Living in Boone, NC. The entire experience was profoundly powerful.
I did circling with the Inside Circle team on my first day. This was an unbelievable experience. Something deep and ancient inside my body was purged in that circle. It was felt completely and held by everyone in the room. I have so much gratitude that words cannot accurately express it.
It was nice doing the circle on day one as I had the remaining four days to integrate. Going in, I knew the energy that I would likely touch into. I’ve been feeling this tension and intensity for a few years now.
However, in the circle it was ten times “bigger” than anything I’ve felt on my own. So much came up, was felt, held and released that my physical body was bursting at the seams.
I met so many wonderful people and felt so much connection and community. It really struck me how important this is. All my life I’ve felt like a reject, like someone who doesn’t belong and is by default not accepted. I could see how the mind wanted to run back into the familiar patterns of staying small and alone, but by the end of the week, the guards had put down their shields and I was open. To be amongst authentic people supporting each other on the path was such a blessing.
Another very impactful experience was the day we did holotropic breathwork. We paired up and breathed for one hour to a soundtrack. One person breathes while the other sits and holds space, providing support when needed.
Almost immediately my body lit up with vibrations all over. Every fiber of my being was alive. Towards the end, it became very emotional. I am so grateful for the beautiful human who was my sitter. This emotional energy came pouring out of me and she was there to hold my hand.
The pain of this trauma and this energy has felt so massive. Like a blackness slowly leeching the life force from me. It’s been there all my life and is what I’ve been protecting and guarding.
Between the circle and the breathwork, it was allowed, accepted, and let go of.
That night following the breathwork I felt a profound shift in the body. It was as though the connection between my upper and lower body was restored and I now have full and complete access to every aspect of my energy body.
I can sense that there is more pain to be felt, more tension to notice, and more energy that wants to flow, but the body feels very good now. It feels open and ready to meet whatever comes up.
There is plenty more to say about the experience, but I’ll leave it alone for now.
🙏
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